Commitment Issues

Ok so its not you, its me.

c836e569db0e175efc179ac9f75dc33a2a31b35dfae8b86ed57ca4ca32077e3c No but seriously it’s you, you really need to fix that fungal infection it growled at me yesterday.

Thats besides the point. We need to talk.

When we started this whole ~~relationship~~ Blog thing i was so young. It was almost 10 months ago and I’ve learnt so many things since then. Like how to accurately use a full stop and. also that bananas are actually a vegetable. Thats just insane.

Here is a lovely song written by apparent Grammy award winning artist Susan Salidor to express my apologies. (**NOTE** ‘Grammys’ are awards Susans Grandmother would give out for cutest grandchild, not the highly prestigious musical award)

Wow such deeply intense lyrics. “I’m sorry i did, that thing that i did, that made you mad” Touching.

But look. The harsh reality is that i can’t withhold a relationship for longer than 3 months. My first lot of blog posts were… Substantial. And i felt bad every time My url WhichMitch.com came up on websites such as Bestbloggers.com and omgthisboggerishilarious.org and handsomewriters.co.uk. **NOTE** (None of those websites made any such quotes nor do they exist) I mean i couldn’t even keep my relationship with Cher stable, so how did i think i could sustain a blog!? To my defense Cher was actually insane and did try to kill me 7 times.

giphy

I felt guilty that i had this brilliant Blog page that was just waisting away so i decided to rent my domain out to this lovely group of middle eastern men. They were very serious and they went by the name ISIS. Hilarious guys, they kept joking that they wanted to ‘create a new world order” and “eradicate all western policies” Haha, oh they were funny.

The truth is that i have commitment issues. There. I said it. WOW Ha, that was easier than i thought. I may as well get some other things off my chest while I’m at it.

One time i ate some dry cat food and told my friends it was gross but i actually enjoyed it.

I sold a fake pair of Dr Dre earphones on ebay and pretended they were real. The bidding finished at $12.04 so i really cashed in.

I have underwear that have the days of the week written on them and sometimes i wear the wrong days.

I once farted at the checkout at Coles and blamed it on a small child and the mother scolded their smelly infant. I then requested her flybys card.

Well that wasn’t too bad.. Now i have a clear conscience. But i still feel bad…

OK. The only way to win back over an audience (and i know what you’re thinking “mitchell is really attractive” and yes you’re right, i am. But i also know that you’re thinking “does he even have an audience” AND YES I DO! As a matter of fact i have 12 viewers a month from the United Arab Emirates and they send me fan mail. Whilst it may be sand in a bottle and a burqa, i do not mind. And i also know that you’re thinking ‘this is the longest bracketed sentence ever’ And you’re correct Its super long.) is to offer then gifts. So please email your banking details including your house address, all security codes, potential spare key locations and your favourite member of the spice girls, to this address and i will send you a sorry gift for being absent on my blog for so long.

Thisistheadresstosendyourdetailstomitchellbecausehewantstosaysorryfornotwritingblogpostsinagesandyesthisisthelongesturlonearthlolwoooooonowimjustadingwordstobeannoyingpineapplecumquatjurassic@yahoomail.com.au

Well I guess thats my part done. I really do love writing these and i love it when you guys give me feedback, so i won’t commit to a set day these will be written, but i will promise that i will try and write them on a Decadely basis. Meaning every 10 years.

Speak to you soon,

Tagged fungal infection, relationship, Susan Salidor

15/04/2014

3 Comments

Video of The Week Video

Video Of The Week

This week’s VOTW Comes from a Youtube channel known simply as ‘TheFineBros’, in which they have a segment where they give certain age demographics various things to do that are popular in todays tech davy world… (Eg, Showing the Elderly how to twirk)

And this week They posted a video that is rather nostalgic. They give children a walkman… Remember them? they are like that one creepy uncle that you don’t like seeing but he is your only one so you kinda have too… Yes they are still on this planet. I know we all think Walkmans became extinct in the early 2000’s but we still remember their legacy. Have a watch, it will either enrage or enlighten you. And make you feel old…. I know i had a walkman when i was a kid, and it played S-Club 7 on repeat.

So take out those earphones, turn off your iPod and pause your episode of Game of Thrones, and have a watch…

10/04/2014

3 Comments

BCM110

Here Goes Mitchy Moo Moo

For Years, children have been exposed to the media and the public sphere Whether it be Shirley temple storming the screen and stage in the early 1930’s to todays very educational Children based TV shows such as “Toddlers & Tiaras”, “Dance Moms” and my personal Favourite,”Here comes Honey Boo Boo”.

Now the topic for this weeks blog is surrounding children in the media, and the sexualisation of children in the media… And whilst i find this topic rather open ended, it is rather straight forward.

Children, no matter their age are bound by law to remain un sexualised until legal age. But are these recent reality shows finding new ways of exposing these children around the law?

Alana Thompson of Here comes Honey Boo Boo Is a self made queen on everything fatty, dirty and southern. She is a ‘redneck’ from Georgia, USA and was granted her own TV show after her online fame during her sprint on TLC’s “Toddlers & Tiara’s”. But her humour, fun loving and literally ‘Larger than life’ family caused her instant fame. But has her recognition caused her harm? or changed who she is as a person? Or even worse, has her show sexualised her as a person?

Apparently so…

The truth is, we won’t ever know. We see these people as the producers want us to see them. They Can edit them up to say ANYTHING about anyone. Now this is only one example, but regarding the topic, i truly think that people need to let kids be kids, and if they are in the media and aren’t causing anyone harm, or offending people, then let them be. The moment it gets disrespectful or even sexualised, THAT is when we need to get our nickers in a knot.

Now the second part of this blog… THE END of an era.. The end of my BCM110 Blog Task.

I originally started this blog as an assessment task for my university assignment, but what it has done is beyond magic. This task has made me realised that i love to write, it has given me an outlet to vent my crazy mind, and it ha salsa taught me how to professionally kill, and skin a wild bull. Dont ask how, it just has.

This topic has made me realise that i love to blog. I blog at night, at day, in the morning, on the toilet, i just love to blog. The experience is exhilarating. honestly you need to try this.

Looking back at some of my blogs, i see so many things i could change and fix, but without making errors, there is no room for improvement. My favourite blog i have written to this day i sky very first. “My first time” I was so scared to post it because i didn’t know how it would be received. But it was 100% me and i was proud of it. As i am of all of my Posts.

Now many other students are closing their blog off at this point, and finishing their blog when they hand in this assignment. BUT ALAS. I will continue to blog! My aim is 1 post per week, on any topic i choose… If i love it so much, why change something that isn’t broken? I know that saying didn’t quite fit here but hey, it sounds good.

So please, follow my blog, ill still be here, and hopefully i have, and continue to make you laugh and smile, because if i can get one person to laugh whilst reading my blog, its all worth it!

See you next week!

MC

Tagged bcm110, blogging, haha, jokes

08/04/2014

I’ve caught up to the Kardashians

I need to get something off my chest… Its been happening for a while now, and i think its best just just to get it off….

……Its this really weird pimple, like its there but then it goes away and then comes back again.. i need medical guidance.

Another thing on my chest (my hairless, pathetic joke of an adult chest) Is my favourite TV show……. Drumroll please….. ( i have a live band here in my room.) Yes, I’m addicted to……

“Keeping up With the Kardashians”

Whether it be the Botox, the botched plastic surgery, the gorgeous women, the drama, or the fact that Kris Jenner really wants to be one of her younger daughters, the show keeps me coming back. Im a sucker for fake, half scripted, 70 million dollar weddings.

Now this love of mine fits perfectly into this weeks blog task, which was to chose a popular Tv show, movie, article etc and suggest how it might contribute to debate in the mediated public sphere. Now i know what you’re thinking, “I wonder what Mitch is wearing as he writes this?” The answer is a Majenta sweater with tweed check flared pants, nothing flashy. The other question you may ask yourself is “what in earth is a mediated public sphere?” Well, to my knowledge, which is rather low, a mediate public sphere is a band formed in the early 80’s, with hit songs such as “don’t touch my ugly cousin” and “What a wonderful quiche”.

The mediated public sphere is the public who are exposed to certain mediums, and in this case, its reality television. The debate surrounding the Kardashians started well before the Reality show even started. The girls father Robert Kardashian was OJ Simpsons Lawyer during the famous US trial, and thats where the fame started.

The fame skyrocketed when the middle daughter, argubrly the most famous daughter “Kim Kardashian” featured in a sex tape in the early 2000’s. ( i didn’t get the accurate date as when i googled Kim Kardashian Sex tape, the hair on my chest singed off) Now that in itself contributes to debate in the public sphere. This breaks many taboos and social ‘donts’ but at the very core, IS the start of the families public stardom… The step father Bruce Jenner WAS an Olympic Gold medalist winner back in the day, but sorry Brucey, you need a sex tape to be successful these days, keep your javelin in your pants.

Now to their defence ,they girls have their own clothing line, shoe range, makeup range and set of stores in Miami, NY and LA, and have a total net worth of over 200 Million Dollars. Or as kim would call it ‘loose change’. The girls have made a career out of their fame, and good on them i say, when god gives you lemons, make lemonade! Or when you star in a sex tape, create a clothing line! those things come hand in hand.

The public have expressed their ‘negativity’ towards the Family saying they should not be on Television and are awful role models to children. US President Barack Obama even weighed in on the debate saying “i would not allow my daughters to watch ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians”. Which hit the family hard..

I would argue that the family is happy and full of love and show the world that family can survive in show business and remain one unit, that, although has their ups and downs, gets up and dusts themselves off at the send of it all. Well, they would have a maid dust them off..

Ill end with one of my favourite GIF’s featuring Kim Kardashian… Enjoy.

MC

Tagged bcm110, blogging, comedy, follow, jokes, kardashian

03/04/2014

9 Comments

BCM110

Control yourself, Media!

Guess what guys!!! (I say guys, as it makes me feel like people actually read my blog.)

(Actually, i had one view from Saudi Arabia last week, so i guess you could say I’m some sort of royalty in their land or something)

ITS BLOG TIME! This is my favourite time of the week. Other than Fridays. Or dinner time. Or when a really dirty sex scene comes on TV and we all pretend we don’t like it (puberty Blues I’m looking at you)

My Blog task for this week is “Why does it matters who controls the media?” And what difference would it make depending on who controls it? And its a very interesting question, because really, Who does control the media? I just love reading the question in a really sassy Woman’s voice from the bronx. “Why the hell does it even matter who controls the damn media?” Think Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wall St’ accent, it just sounds sassier, and makes you passionate about the topic. And think of Margot Robbie.. Damn she’s fine.

But back to the topic.. Power over the media.. Who has the power? Well i think we all know the answer…

Just imagine this cat controlling the power of the media in Australia.. It wouldn’t be the first time Australian media moguls have been called pussies.. But in reality the media does have ownership here in Australia, and much to a majority of peoples beliefs, we do have channels other than 9, 10 and 7. No one ever thinks about the other numbers, 1, 2, 8, 6.. Channel Discrimination, Australia says NO.

Now I’m someone who isn’t up to date with the Murdochs, the Rinehart, the Packers, I’m only following the Kardahsians. Rupert Murdoch is totally Kim. Just minus the sex tape… Well he and Gina Rinehart have been very close lately. But i do know that a very certain Type f people control our media outlets. And i actually don’t think this is a bad thing There is so much negativity towards these people and their own businesses that they have created.Im sure all the Head Honchos In Aussie media play this to themselves as they fall asleep at night.

Let them have control! Im certainly not wanting control of the media, i just want someone to do it for me. I think that people hate the Media Moguls because, well.. Everyone else does. The Haters outweigh the supporters, and the hate is all we ever see. Why? Because there is more than one media outlet controlling the media! Channel 7 will get Koshie to bag out channel 10 and their corresponding Leader and so forth we, as viewers create a opinion based on what is given to us. Its a vicious cycle.

I personally don’t mind who controls the media, as long as I’m getting honest and truthful Reports on what is ACTUALLY happening in my world. Thats why i choose Naked News’ “Torontos most popular news station” (That slogan is not accurate) . Its really worth a watch. And a counselling session.

Who ever said the media weren’t behind massive cover ups….

Tagged bcm110, blog, follow me, funny

31/03/2014

Video Of The Week

This weeks Video of the week is a segment on Late night with Jimmy Fallon. Just watch the scene and hilarity will flow. These two actors are up there in my favourite comedians list, and this just makes me love them even more..

I didn’t really take Jimmy for a red lipstick man…

Have a look!

Tagged videooftheweek

31/03/2014

5 Comments

BCM110

What an Obama-Nation!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAp9BKosZXs&feature=kp (Play this video whilst reading the post, and replace the word ‘Girl’ with various world leaders names)

Be honest with yourself..

We’ve all dreamt about locking lips with Obama and shoving the First Lady down the stairs of the oval office at one point in our lives. And now you can experience that vicariously through the tense, politically dry lips of some of the worlds most powerful ~~idiots~~ Leaders.

And that is exactly what The United Colors of Benetton, a well known Italian clothing company with an already established history of controversial advertisements has done in their 2011 add campaign that has caused quite a stir across the globe. Men and women worldwide are now in uproar over the fact that they are not allowed to kiss Obama. Ok thats not the real reason people are upset about this. The real reason is obvious.

Now the images have clearly not been tampered with and the leaders must have been paid handsomely to partake in such an act, and its strange, i always saw Barack as more of a Putin man.. huh, you think you know somebody…. Now, the clearly photoshopped images sparked the debate to wether or not the company have crossed the line with their advertisements. The images Obviously have gone for the ‘shock value’ over anything else, and it has worked. According to the company’s homepage, They started “Unhate” foundation in order “to contribute to the creation of a new culture against hate”. The company’s goal is to promote love and tolerance around the globe.

You can have a closer look at their homepage here – http://www.kissingpresidents/LOLcom.

Sorry. The Updated web address is – http://unhate.benetton.com

But the underlying question beneath all of this is have the obviously questionable and unethical images actually acomplished the companys objective? I believe that the images have gone above and beyond the companies goals and due to the world-wide notoriety they acoplished, they well and truly achieved the recognition they wanted, regardless of their message being correctly portrayed. Any publicity is good publicity right?

I think by far the most shocking image is this one .

The image of the Pope Benedict XVI kissing Muslim imam Ahmed Mohamed el-Tayeb of Egypt. The Vatican actually made a statement immediately after the advert was released saying “This is obviously fake as Pope Benedict tilts his head to the right when he kisses other men” Ok, they didn’t say that, but they did say this “It shows a serious lack of respect for the Pope”

Now i actually think the images are a great way to draw attention to the companies message, although being disrespectful in many aspects, they did what any good shock advert does, shocks people. And really, i think the real issue here is, where on earth was Vladimir Putin? I bet he would be ‘putin’ his lips all over Obama if he had the chance!

Tagged bcm110, obamacare, uni

16/03/2014

2 Comments

Video of The Week

Down Down, My social life is down..

SO, as some of you might know, (probably none of you know) But i am actually a check out chick at Coles. Now i really need to find a new name for that role.. Check out dude? Check out lad… Umm.. Check out chickorita?

Get back to me on that one..

Anyway, video of the week this week is by one of my Favourite Improvisational actors Kristen Wiig, giving her best impersonation of a checkout chick… I think I’m too much like this character for my own good…

Do you have a flybys card with you tod…. Shit, sorry.. force of habit.

16/03/2014

17 Comments

BCM110

Good one, Media…

Ive decided these blog posts will be formed in the way a ‘normal’ Relationship is formed, the first date, second, third etc, etc…. Our first date (first blog) which, come on, was awkward. I went in for the kiss, you wanted more, i ordered dessert, you didn’t, i ordered the almond tart, you’re allergic to almonds, you had an anaphylactic fit…it was just a mess… Then we move on to second date (blog post) and this is exactly that, we are well acquainted now and are ready to blog each other. In more ways than one…

My Blog question this week is “What are the media being blamed for? and is it justified?” Now, i want you to read that question back in your head in a spanish accent. Just do it. Everything’s funnier in spanish, heck, throw a ‘guacamole’ in there for fun.

So now to the question.. I believe that the media cops allot of flack. I think people use the media as a generic excuse to justify their problems…

“I’m fat because the media made me!”

“Children are becoming more violent?! IT MUST BE THE MEDIA!”

“Tracey Grimshaw said that interest rates will rise, so that means they will”

“I have a strange rash on my inner thigh, Thanks allot media…”

Ok that last one is just an issue i have.. i just need someone to blame.. Seriously i need medical attention.

Its almost like the media is the blind and deaf kid that you had in your class, that you blamed everything on because they couldn’t defend themselves. The media has feelings guys, we can’t just blame EVERYTHING on them. Its either Tony Abbots, Gina Rheinhart or the Media’s fault when there is a social issue. The Media didn’t kill Princess diana guys, calm down.

I DO however believe that the media is in fact highly influential on not only the general public, but our Youth in particular. Those little buggers are very impressionable. For example when i was 10 i saw on the news that the more chocolate you eat, the more attractive you will be. So, thats the secret to my beauty incase you were wondering… And my waistline..

Media, or as i like to call him,’Big Mezza’ (haha, sorry its a personal joke between me and him, you totally wouldn’t get it) for some people is the only way they receive information, and depending on their source, will be fed information and views created by those media superpowers. Media is just that bitchy girl that sits on the back oval at school and bosses all the other girls around, but in the end gets thrown under the bus. Basically media is Regina George.. “omg media, you Cant sit with us..”

IN the end, i think ill just have a medium double quarter pounder meal… Oh crap, sorry i was ordering dinner and writing this simultaneously. I think the media is an easy blame for most people, If we wanted to find the real answer to a question we have to look further into where the ideals were conceived… Murdoch’s mansion…

The media is needed in our world. After all, who else would we drastically overpay to sit at a news desk and read an auto cue machine all day everyday? So in conclusion, we all know who to blame in this situation…. Koshie.

Tagged bcm110

07/03/2014

2 Comments

BCM110, Life

The secret diary of a Uni student

In the words of Albert Einstein;

“thou who finishes thy first week at university will be forever prosperous”

“And handsome.”

Wow. That was one of those quotes that not many people have seen. Albert was also pretty drunk when he said it. Classic Albert.

Anyway… I have actually completed my first week at University! its not like i expected to not make it or anything, but I’m always that one person that trips and has to have the next 6 weeks off with a broken ankle (That actually happened in Year 9, i was walking across a room and fell and broke my ankle. walking…. just to reiterate, i was walking.) And then return to find everyone has become best friends and suddenly have matching tattoos that say “BFF’s 4 Eva” … Sorry, must be some pent up emotion, my best friend did the whole tattoo thing when i left for a week in year 2.

BUT i did learn many valuable things in my first 5 days at UOW, and i will write them for you all in point form because it will make this post look more professional and i hear thats what Obama does. well thats what Bush tells me.

So things i have learnt include…

Mature aged students are the equivalent of that English kid that comes to your school in year 9. And i mean that with the highest of compliments. Those damn english boys pulled all the girls. *Note* Mature aged students can’t pull chicks because technically thats illegal.

The uni is a big place, so getting lost is actually easy. To put it in perspective I had a lecture at 9am on tuesday and found it at 10am the following month… Just imagine Hogwarts without all the witches and spells and 3 headed dogs and stuff… And the castles..and evil noseless demons sucking out your souls … OK uni is nothing like Hogwarts but you got my drift..

That Deciding what to wear every day is harder than the workload. Its like bloodey Paris fashion week. I saw one girl, no word of a lie, she was wearing a full leather body suit. She looked like Tomb Raider. Turns out she was just an exchange student…. Gotta love those foreigners.

That getting a coffee before your lecture is compulsory. I walked into one the other day and was told to leave and not to return without a “Skim Soy flat white, no sugar and takeaway”

And finally..

5. The scariest thing about uni isn’t the lectures, or the classes, not even the wild ducks that wonder the grounds of the campus but Its simply…. Parking. The parking on campus is more competitive that a law degree. Theres P1, P2, P3. P4, not to mention the Permit holders area.. OH did i mention the stacker carpark? That only requires a small fee of $13 for 4 hours. Stop complaining and just catch the train you say? oh.. you didn’t say anything? sorry… I’m jumping to conclusions again.

So with one week down, and only 4.5 years to go, i can safely say i have experienced all Uni has to offer. Ive enjoyed the ride so far and am loving my course at the moment. For a brief moment i did I think about transferring and picking up astronomy, but I knew I would just be taking up space. Get it? i felt like i needed an astronomy joke in this post, i had so many complaints in my fan mail last week about the lack of astronomy jokes in my last post…

I had no complaints…

I also had no fan mail…

But feel free to send me fan mail to my email address: Cheesecakeandallotherbakedgoodsandoccasionallysomestylesofpannacotta@outlook.com

(Me and some of my new friends i ~~bought.~~‘Made’.. Also, I’m the one in the sunglasses to make it easier for you to recognise me.)

Tagged bcm110, blog, funny, jokes

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WhichMitch

18, Struggling actor, possible radio presenter and definite pole dancer. My posts are real, and they are juicy.

Author Archives: Mitch Churi

Commitment Issues

Video Of The Week

Here Goes Mitchy Moo Moo

MC

I’ve caught up to the Kardashians

I need to get something off my chest… Its been happening for a while now, and i think its best just just to get it off….

……Its this really weird pimple, like its there but then it goes away and then comes back again.. i need medical guidance.

Another thing on my chest (my hairless, pathetic joke of an adult chest) Is my favourite TV show……. Drumroll please….. ( i have a live band here in my room.) Yes, I’m addicted to……

“Keeping up With the Kardashians”

Whether it be the Botox, the botched plastic surgery, the gorgeous women, the drama, or the fact that Kris Jenner really wants to be one of her younger daughters, the show keeps me coming back. Im a sucker for fake, half scripted, 70 million dollar weddings.

I would argue that the family is happy and full of love and show the world that family can survive in show business and remain one unit, that, although has their ups and downs, gets up and dusts themselves off at the send of it all. Well, they would have a maid dust them off..

Ill end with one of my favourite GIF’s featuring Kim Kardashian… Enjoy.

MC

Control yourself, Media!

Video Of The Week

What an Obama-Nation!

Down Down, My social life is down..

Good one, Media…

The secret diary of a Uni student